why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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