No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
