also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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