I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
