PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
