We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
