i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
