She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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