So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
