Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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