So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
