He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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