living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
