i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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