dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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