it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
