you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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