I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
