in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
