Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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