after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
