I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
