Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
