My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
