we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
