areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
