he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
