Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My penis needs a shock collar
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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