I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
