I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
