Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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