Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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