Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
