Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
