Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
