I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
