It's Friday. Sex?
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
