Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
