I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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