I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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