It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
is wine microwaveable?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
