Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
