No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
