if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
