All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
