I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
