I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
