haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
