How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
