He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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