Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
